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"Not The Same Inside" by Joe DiMino
Hi God, its me again
Sorry to be a pest,
Certain Im not
Your best:
Forgive my tears
But you see, Im only seven,
And have just been told
My friend, Johnny, who was eleven
Is now up there with you
I guess heaven needed him for something
But he had so much here
On earth he wanted to do
When we grew up
Sail around the world together,
Shipmates forever
And nowwell
Hi, its me again, off to war;
Not certain what Im fighting for:
Oh for God, thats You, and country
Ive been told; to keep our nation free
From all sorts of real
And, perhaps, some imagined tyranny
But, you see, my wife is with child,
Seven months along
Its our first
And not being here to see him
Or her born, not being here to support
And comfort my wife
Makes the prospect of dying
Seem all the worse
Hi God, its you know who;
Thanks for getting me through
All of that;
Grateful to be alive
When so many others, far closer to you
Im sure, will never see
Their first-born
And cherished wife
Never return to a private life as I
For they did not survive.
Im not the same you know
War has changed me
Dramatically inside;
A lot of scars
From my wife
And new child
I will always hide;
Not that I want them shutout
And kept a distant, but its impossible
To confide
What I myself fail to entirely
Understand: when it comes
To life and death (of less value or more worth):
Why someone arms length from me,
With also a loving family back home
.
I held his guts in
Trying to keep them
From the ground,
But he, as so many honorable others
Are no longer around
Are my hands indelible with blood?
To this day I cannot in my soul
Comfortably abidehow on earth
Or heaven
Or anyplace else
Do you decide?
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